Bet the house
Heads: you win a free pie. Tails: you're buying pizza for every customer for the rest of the day. A very normal bank product.
Your dough is in good hands
THE PIZZA
BANK.
A full-service financial institution for Pop Shabbat. We believe in community, compound interest, and getting the last slice into a fiduciary wrapper. Our grand opening is absolutely happening. We have a logo, which is basically a lease.
Opening date: when the ribbon arrives
A taste of the reserves
Pop Shabbat / personal checking
Your slice account
Acct. No. 00-PEP-778 slices
Available balance, not including the one you're thinking about.
Recent activity
All amounts in slices- Shabbat dinner dividendToday, before the candles+ 2 slices
- Emergency crust reserveToday, emotionally− 1 slice
- Opening-day reserveApproved by the optimism committee+ 7 slices
A few highly anticipated offerings
Products & services
Our menu is ambitious. Our licensing paperwork is mostly decorative.
Last week's cannoli
We can only confirm they were excellent. The dessert ledger is sealed.
The Pizza Board
A board meeting you can eat: pizza, fries, garlic knots, calzones, and mozzarella sticks.
Sefardi heat
Our pizza sauce is 37% spicier. The water glasses are standing by.
Behind the very sturdy door
See our vault
Cheese reserveCarefully aged. Aggressively guarded.
Dough reserveStored beside the cheese. Please don't ask which is more valuable.
Free advice
zero qualifications
zero qualifications
“Prediction: someone will ask whether the crust counts as a vegetable. We say yes, with confidence.”